How I REALLY feel about the word Healing
Healing Isn’t a Finish Line—It’s a Return to Wholeness
We’re often told that healing is something we arrive at. A place we reach once we’ve “done the work,” moved through the pain, and left the hard stuff behind.
But I don’t believe we can be healed—not in the clean, final way that word suggests.
I don’t even love the word healing, if I’m honest
That “-ing” makes it sound like there’s an after. A point where we’re done. But the truth is—there’s no “after.” No arrival. No final moment when the pain disappears for good.
The root of the word “heal” means to make whole. Not to erase, fix, or undo. Just to arrive at wholeness—to come into alignment with who we are now, shaped by everything we’ve lived through.
Healing is a new version of ourselves. A version that holds our scars—not as evidence of failure, but as proof that we’ve survived.
Can We Fully Heal Trauma?
Clients often ask me this. “Can I completely heal from my trauma?”
The honest answer? No.
Because healing trauma doesn’t mean it goes away. If something is “resolved,” it means it no longer lives in us. But trauma imprints in the body. It leaves a mark. That mark may shift or soften over time—but it doesn’t disappear.
And that’s not a bad thing.
Some wounds don’t vanish—they integrate. They become part of our inner landscape. The goal isn’t to make them go away, but to relate to them differently.
Why Healing Isn’t Linear
I have recognized a pattern within the journeys of others. A client returns after months or years and says:
“I thought I was over this.”
“I went to therapy for years. Why is this back?”
But nothing went wrong.
Healing is layered. It’s not a straight line—it’s a spiral. We revisit the same pain from new places within ourselves. A memory, a body response, a moment of grief—it surfaces not because we failed, but because we’re ready to meet it again.
Sometimes, something happens and your body remembers. That doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human.
Scars Don’t Vanish—And That’s Okay
Think of trauma like a scar. It may fade, but it doesn’t vanish.
That scar isn’t proof of damage—it’s proof of healing. And it will continue to be part of you. But it doesn’t have to define or limit you. Healing is the process of learning to live with that scar—with compassion, awareness, and grace.
Experiences change us. They leave us fundamentally different—not broken, just marked.
The Truth About the Healing Process
Healing isn’t fixing.
It’s not about getting rid of pain.
It’s about learning to live alongside it.
It’s not a destination. It’s a relationship—a lifelong unfolding. A return to wholeness, over and over again.
So, if you’re circling back to pain you thought you’d moved past, take heart. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re not back at the beginning. You’re meeting the moment from a deeper, wiser place.
This is the work.
This is healing.